#it's so hot and humid these days
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#the umbrella academy#tua#tua five#five hargreeves#tua fanart#the umbrella academy five#tua season 4#the umbrella academy season 4#the umbrella academy s4#carraythee's art#i nearly collapsed of heatstroke in my tiny little room as i was drawing this at 4am#it's so hot and humid these days#artists without air conditioning are just prepared for their eventual death#only a few more days till s4... i hope i'll finish some more tua fanart till then
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hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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Hello :))) So, i was today years old when i learned you had a girlfriend (if i’m not mistaken) and somehow it means a lot to me as you’re one of my comfort blog and that i’ve been struggling with my own sexuality for a while. (I hope it does not come off as weird this is really not my intention 😭) So i was wondering if you would mind sharing how you two met as i love hearing about queer love stories coming from real people and not only in fiction (somehow i need to be reminded that yes, it can happen in real life too for me??) If and only if you’re comfortable doing so of course!!!
aww hi anon! first of all, thank you so much for the kind words--i'm so glad to hear that my blog is a source of comfort for you. and also, re: your sexuality--i'm sending you so much love! i know how scary and how overwhelming it can be to still be figuring out your sexuality and navigating your own queerness, so please remember to have some compassion for yourself, and please know that you're not alone.
as for my girlfriend: yes! i do in fact have one, and we've been together for a little over a year and a half now. we'll be going on two years pretty soon, which is all very exciting!
as for how we met: it's all a pretty funny story, because we actually met while we were both in college. and also right during that first covid summer too. we started off as long-distance friends, bonding our love for star wars and writing.
anyways, i totally had a crush on her, although i was trying to play it off most of the time. the fact that we lived in separate cities was another factor too, of course.
fast forward to a few years later, when we've both graduated college. i've just started my first year of law school; she's working at this point. we're still texting and calling each other a bit, and then i tell her, oh yeah, i'm going out on a date with this guy.
and just like something from a kdrama or a movie or something, this ridiculous, lovely woman texts me as i'm boarding the bus for my date. her text? hey, i dreamed about you last night! we were sitting on a park bench together and we were holding hands :)
and of course, at this point, i still have a disastrous crush on her (hence why i spent a lot of time dating all these random guys in my junior and senior year of college, because i was like i gotta just get over this), but anon, that text message was the other shoe dropping on my brain. i decided right then and there that enough is enough, i'm gonna call her tomorrow and tell her i like her, so she can't just say stuff like that anymore because i don't think i can take it anymore.
so we arrange to have a phone call the next day, and we chat, and of course, true to form, i have to have some liquid courage on me (peach soju, btw . . . but turns out, if you're jittery enough, you don't even feel the alcohol, because i still remember every detail). anyways, at some point, we're chatting, and then i blurt out, "i like you."
and she goes, "i like you too."
and i went, "no, i mean i like you more than a friend. as in i like you."
and she goes, "uh, yeah. i like you to do. the feeling's mutual."
and of course, i didn't know what to say to that. like, i swear i was just like "??? what?" because the thing is, i had this whole speech planned out in my head--something like i like you, and you don't like me like that, so i'm sorry that this is awkward, and i can just take care of my own feelings, but i just really needed to say that so that we're both on the same page--
so to say i was pretty stunned would be an understatement! so cue a lot of laughter and flustering, and fast forward to today, with her living with me for the summer (because of course, she'll need to go back to work and i'll have to go back to school once august hits), and we talk about how many pets we're going to have one day (she has this hobby of sending me videos of increasingly exotic animals and going "??? so can we have this as a pet? :)"), and we've talked about what our wedding is going to be like (as well as what our wedding will not be like) . . .
this is just a whole lot of details, but as you might be the first one to ask me about this lovely person on this webbed site, of course i'm going to ramble and gush--but anon, to give you some hope here, queer love is a beautiful thing and it certainly happens.
personally, i would love to go back in time and find my sad high school self and go "hey, hang in there, because you're gonna be lucky enough to finally fall in love with someone who's kind and warm and patient and loving, and she's going to encourage you to be a better person, and she's going to make friends with literally every single stranger on the street (much to your partial exasperation and partial wonder), and she's going to be really bad at staying hydrated, and she's going to take so many photographs of everything, and she's going to make friendship bracelets on your bed, and she's going to almost fight the secretary at a dentist's office for you (while you tug at her sleeve and go come on, i'm fine, let's just go), and she's going to recite and write poetry that you keep both on your walls and also in your head, and her grandma is going to show you the dorkiest photos she has of this silly, lovely, beautiful person who you love."
so: all that to say, anon, i hope that gave you some hope! it's such a long journey for some of us, but i promise that queer love is out there and healthily alive, and yeah, sometimes they're just as good (or even better) than those that you find in fiction :)
#answered#anon#i could talk about my partner literally all day#like how she has a lot of freckles and how loving and lovable she is#and how she's always the one telling strangers how cute their dogs are#and she's also INCREDIBLY organized#and she's really good at parallel parking#and she's also very artistic and so creative and she has a gazillion hobbies that i'm in awe of#when we were installing my air conditioner i was the one swearing and going 'FUCKING hell oh my GOD'#because it was so humid and hot#meanwhile my partner's smiling and laughing and going 'this is gonna be a funny story later'#which is the other thing: she takes all the inconveniences of life and turns it into a funny story whereas i just swear at the whole thing#(which is why i know that in the case we have kids she's gonna be the mommy the kiddos will run to#when they've broken something or if they threw up in bed)#(whereas i will be the mother who goes 'oh for the love of god')#(our kids will have their mother's sense of humor and their eomma's potty mouth)#but anyways. yes. i love her dearly :)
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⊹₊❆ Christmas drawing WIP ❆₊⊹
merry (belated) christmas from the astral express!
I couldn't finish this in time for christmas ╥﹏╥
but I'm pretty proud of the linework so far!
I'll try my best to finish this before the new year arrives! ✧(•̀o•́)ง
#honkai star rail#dan heng#march 7th#hsr trailblazer#hsr stelle#christmas#hsr pompom#wip#my hsr fanart#christmas has been so hot and humid here#my family doesn't celebrate christmas so i spent the day drawing this#celebrating christmas vicariously through the astral express trio
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Me right now
#gun tw#I HATE SUMMER I HATE IT I HATE IT#its not fun being with a headache all day bc its so hot and humid#I have to study yet i sweat buckets while sitting on my desk#i can't go on like this
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old doodle (was looking for stuff to post lmao) but this was based off a convention i went to not too long ago with my old classmates! i found someone who was cosplaying as chongyun and i wanted to get a pic with him (i was shy because he looked occupied ... but my friend asked for me weeee)
anyways thats luminel (me and lumine merged LMAO straight up shameless self insert)
#THANK YOU CHONGYUN COSPLAYER!!!! I LOVE YOUUU /P YOU MADE A CHONGYUN MAIN SUPER DUPER HAPPY!!!!#i was initally shy to approach him because i found him perched behind the trees. out of sight - he was fanning himself because it was a bit#humid that day (kinda lore accurate dont ya think? chongyun is sensitive to anything hot) so i felt like i was bothering him but when my-#friend asked for me - he looked willing and he was very enthusiastic wawaw#HIS SMILE IS SO CUTE IN THE PIC LIKE AKSDLAFKDSL HE LOOKED SO HAPPYYYYY#i had to recreate it fr dude auauaagha#~ art
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Oh to write a line that is such an emotional punch to the gut you have to take a break and maybe even go on a walk, like oof
#Raksh's writing ramblings#it took a lot of tweaks and a lot of time just sitting there staring at the paragraph but damn does it hit now#Im actually kinda shocked how well it works#and since its so hot and humid and absolutely godamn awful today that my brain feels like mush#this might be a good point to leave it on today and pick back up on tomorrow#kinda sucks Im only able to get around 600 words a day#But after almost a year of writer's block I'll take it with open arms#(my thesis can wait a lil'm more 🙈🙈)#btw Im writing the final part to the VegasPete time travel AU#and its mostly Vegas' and Gun's confrontation so that's already heavy stuff#but these lines Gun just said to Vegas? oh my god#I might've peaked right there and then#hopefully that'll stay relevant and won’t sound like shit when I get back to it tomorrow 🙈😂#but so far Im having so much fun and it's beginning to look like it might become one of the best things I've ever written#it just Flows and Im letting myself go with the style and its just-- so nice 😩#lots of parallels and lots of implications and mirroring in this confrontation between father and son#might become my favourite bit too#and Id prob appeal to no one but me 🙈 but ehh Im happy with how its turning out and that's important ^^#and if anyone else likes it then thats just an added bonus ^^#now Im gonna go lay down and rest for a bit bcs this heat wave really is killing me#over 32 degrees Celcius with Zero wind snd humid as fuck#I was Not made for this :')
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this will sound dramatic but i started thinking about wearing a hoodie again and teared up
#wearing only a binder and a t-shirt makes me soo dysphoric i wanna cry every day#and i say this every summer but binding when it's hot is hell. especially as someone whose most behated sensory experience? is sweating#i spend all summer being sticky and gross and uncomfortable and hating every second of it#just want it to be less than 30 degrees at the very least instead it's gonna be 35 again and so humid i wanna peel my skin off#sorry for being that person who complains about the weather but when i say i hate summer this is what i mean i just#am uncomfortable all the time during these months
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Magenta kinda?
#this heat wave has been a blessing and curse#it hit 110 earlier#my neck of the woods is used to peaking at 105 and nothing higher than that#this shit is unheard of for several days straight#right now its 93 and this past week ive had no physical pain cause of fibromyalgia nor flare ups#i haven't felt this in a long long time#this feels like heaven i can fucking move and be active without feeling so limited or bed bound#but the heat and humidity have given me bad headaches and heat exhaustion is legit#I'm keeping hydrated staying shaded and not overdoing things physically#but fucking a it feels like a dragon is snoring right in front of my face#the power company killed the grids earlier cause of fire precaution it took like 4 hrs to get it back on#and I'm marinated in sweat rn#if the headaches could go away I'd be dandy af even though i feel gross#magenta#magenta is my vent word#not magenta but some other pink variant#trying to write but its too hot for brain#been reading and crocheting in the meantime while getting over headaches#i need to live somewhere where the winters arent horrible and the summers are hot but not excruciating#i need a personal terranium#thats what i need#hope everyone is doing good and staying safe if youre in a heat wave too
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puppy daddy's gonna be honest you have got to wear a fucking mask on public transit
#losing my damn mind#pride wasnt accessible to me before the pandemic#and it FOR SURE ISNT NOW!!!!#the lgbtq+ center is up a narrow flight of stairs steeper and slimmer than my apartments and sometimes#i have to stop half way on those. like.#god. sorry. i know. i know no one wears masks any more. i know im the quote wierdo hold out endquote along w my now roommate#but for the love of god does it really get driven home sometimes#ive had covid 3 times that i can verify and each time has left me with very minor things#(lung capacity shrinkage NEW chronic pain and an increase in migraines)#and doctors are asking me why im still wearing one 😭 bcus the last time i was unmasked in a medical setting#i got so sick i could barely move for a week and a half#COME ON MAN.#any way. sorry.#i get it i do im sick of masking at this point bcus its expensive and tedious and painful these days (hot humid weather)#but i like it when i dont increase the risk of myself and my loved ones and their loved ones getting sick and potentially dying#also this post is in response to a random ass picture i saw while scrollijg that was posted this year
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~
Edit: vent post cancelled friend just dropped a new fanfic
#vignettes de ma vie#for the 1st time in *checks calendar* 11 months I have a (long) weekend w 0 plans & I am miserableee idk what to do w myself ._.#all my friends r busy & the weather is so hot & humid#& I've got a killer week at work waiting on the other side & my period & apparently my b'day also#I do not feel festive I will say that!!!#does anyone know something fulfilling to do on a hot day. does anyone have a fave website. does anyone want to get cake w me. does anyone
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everyone who is 21 stop fucking voting you're the same age im going to kill you myself
#you dont know him like i do. we were born TOGETHER#this is /j but like being someone who lived in texas and was born on The Day does things to you . sorry#you guys dont know the humidity. the metal buildings. the sun so hot your vision goes white.#the utter fucking rage of being a military kid.#i know him. intimately. i do#nonsense thoughts
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I am so normal..... so so so so so normal..........
#kinda feeling myself slipping back into the type of hole where genuine kindness from others feels NOT GOOD#like people show a general interest in me and are kind to me? I SUDDENLY FEEL THREATENED AND UNDESERVING#come on.... i thought we were over this.......#i just. wanna quietly disappear into the background and just observe and float through life at my own pace#do not perceive me pls..........#i'm such a freak. craving connection and affection but being repulsed by it when i actually receive it. cool. 👍#anyway. time to read and then sleeeeeeeep so i'm somewhat rested for work the next couple days#it'll be unbearably hot and humid so my brain is already pre-fried and i don't need any more sleep deprivation to make things worse
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103 tomorrow with humidity
#literally like what do i even wear im gonna so so sweaty and gross and hot cause i gotta traverse campus all day#and half my class time its warm and also humid buidlings then the other two are super cold which is worse#cause ill have been sweaty so now im extra cold
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HAPPY HALLOWEEN
So you guys wanna see my "out of closet" Teen Lark cosplay???? (Also face reveal lol)
Sparrow made him the glasses chain, it's the only way he'd wear the glasses
#so it's too hot to survive a day in a hoodie#id be wearing a hoodie but its like 26°C (79°F) and very fucking humid#dndads#dndads cosplay#lark oak#lark oak cosplay#lark oak garcia
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She saw something funny the other day. An adventurer walked by one of the perfume stands in the city & proceed to cough up his lungs. The same person was bewildered to see Tiffanie walk by that same stand no problem.
#(when i say thavniarian perfumes are strong i mean it)#(as strong as ishgardian perfumes)#(look this island & hot & humid during the day & muggy af at night)#(so the people here obsess over body odors)#(all my ishgardians are used to it but an unprepared person will get a nose blast if they get to close to a perfume vendor)#tiffanie quenderlain; ic [warrior of darkness]
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